Mommy? I love you! You are the best! Mommy move! No! (Pushes mommy away or locks mommy in her bedroom after exiting herself - mommy goes away.) Waaaa!!! Mommy!!!! (Grabs mommy's hand to let her out of the room and then lets go and ignores mommy.) Mommy! Play with me! Can I watch "Sprout"? No? Mommy, I hate you! Mommy? Here's a hug for you!
Mommy? What are limits? Is hitting a limit? It is? How about pinching? That too? What about biting? I know it is at school, but what about at home? Here too? OK, what about screaming "MINE!!!!!!!" and trying to grab things off your plate? Really? That doesn't seem like it should be a limit too... OK, what about running away from you? OK inside when we are playing chase, but not OK outside? Hum...what about if I'm trying to keep something that you want me to give to you? Is it OK to run away from you then - even if we are outside? No? Well, that doesn't seem to be very fair. How else am I going to keep the things I want to keep? Can I run away when I get tired of being in time out? Is that a limit? What? I have to wait in one spot the entire 90 seconds? That doesn't seem fair! If I don't sit, you'll sit with me in your lap? Wow. That makes me mad! I guess biting is still a limit - AND I get ANOTHER time out for it? A kid could end up in time out for 4 and a 1/2 minutes between running away twice and attempted biting. OK...what about throwing things on the floor while we are eating? Even at a restaurant? They have people to clean up after us after all. What about taking the straw out of my drink and pouring the milk on the table? You don't want me to do that either? All I get to do is color while waiting for my food - and you don't like it when I eat my crayons. You are no fun! Mommy? I hate you! Mommy? Don't leave me! I love you! Now, when you say it is time to get ready for bed...does that really mean putting away my clothes and shoes and putting on my PJ's? Are you sure it doesn't mean running around my room like a maniac? Because I think that is more fun. Oh, and Mommy? Why can't I eat 3 bananas in one afternoon - and have juice too? Oh, and Mommy? About bath time...is it a limit when I splash so hard that the water goes across half the bathroom and your shirt and pants get all dark colored and wet? Would that be a limit? How about standing up in the bathtub and practicing my jumping? Can I do that? I know I bumped my head, but I think it is worth it. Mommy? NO!!!!! Mommy? Hug me!
Oh, I forgot. What about pulling the cat's tail? That's a limit too? But it was just there, twitching. What's a kid to do? How about jumping on the dogs? No? Well...Oh, I know, is it OK to hit my plate with my fork so hard the corn goes flying across the table? No, not that either?
Mommy? How come last night when Mama was reading me stories, you said, "Mommy is going out. I'll be back later. Mommy needs some personal time"? Mommy? What's personal time and why do you need it? You'll be happy to know I used my time with Mama is see what kind of limits she has. Strange. They are a lot of the same ones you have.
Mommy? I love you. Thanks for letting me paint today. It was fun.
Oh, and Mommy? Remember you'll have to distract me with TV in the morning in order to get my PJ's off and real clothes on. I didn't want you to forget.
Aidan.
I wouldn't trade this sweet girl for anything in the world, and I am grateful for these struggles because I know some moms wish for nothing more than to feel tested by their child in every way and their children aren't capable of testing things like Aidan. And it is good to know she is developmentally on track, but, wow, what a weekend! And she's only 20 months. I hope consistency now will lead to an easier time during the heart of rapproachment. I can hope, right? Loving limits. Loving limits. Avoid power struggles (like wresting the pacifier out of her mouth the other morning - not a proud mommy moment [I apologized for that power-over parenting approach later]). Loving limits and lots of love.
I'm going to go eat some chocolate frozen custard.
Ta ta.
1 comment:
That's VERY perceptive!!!!! Aidan has one great mommy!!!!!!
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